Working with Me

My work is focused on supporting neurodiverse couples in which partners experience and respond to the world in fundamentally different ways.

Most people who reach out to me have already tried to understand their relationship. They are not looking for motivation, blame, or quick fixes. They are looking for clarity, language, and a way to reduce repeated misunderstanding.

I work with couples and individuals to help make sense of patterns that have persisted despite effort, care, and good intention.

How I Think About This Work

Neurodiverse relationships are shaped by differences in perception, communication, emotional processing, and tolerance for ambiguity.

These differences are structural, not moral. They are not problems to be solved or traits to be eliminated. At the same time, they can create real distress when partners do not understand what they are responding to.

My role is to help clarify what is actually happening between two people, so that energy is no longer spent trying to change what cannot change, or enduring what might be workable.

Therapy and Coaching

I work both as a licensed psychotherapist and as a coach. These are distinct roles, and the choice between them depends on your goals, location, and circumstances.

Therapy is appropriate when:

• you are seeking licensed mental health care

• treatment of anxiety, depression, trauma, or other clinical concerns is a primary focus

• you live in a jurisdiction where I am licensed to practice psychotherapy

Coaching may be appropriate when:

• your primary goal is understanding and improving relational dynamics

• you are seeking education, structure, and communication strategies

• you live outside my licensing jurisdiction

• you want focused, time-limited work

Coaching can also be used alongside individual psychotherapy you may already be doing elsewhere.

Neither option is superior. They simply serve different purposes.

Working Together

I work with couples together, and in some cases with partners individually as part of the overall process.

Some couples benefit from a combination of joint sessions and individual conversations. This allows space for different questions, processing styles, and concerns, while keeping the focus on the relationship as a whole.

We will discuss what structure makes the most sense for you before beginning.

When One Partner Is Not Ready

It is not uncommon for partners to arrive at questions about neurodiversity at different times. One person may feel ready to explore these ideas, while the other feels uncertain, uninterested, or resistant.

This does not necessarily reflect lack of care or commitment. For some people, the idea of neurodiversity raises fears about identity, blame, or permanence. For others, prior experiences with counseling may have felt confusing or even harmful.

When joint work is not possible or not appropriate, individual work can still be useful. While one person cannot resolve all relational challenges alone, they can develop greater understanding of neurodiversity, clarify their own needs and limits, and adjust communication in ways that reduce unnecessary conflict.

Individual work is not a substitute for couple work, nor is it a strategy for changing a partner. It is a way of gaining clarity about what is happening, what is possible, and what choices are available.

If you are considering this option, we can discuss whether individual work would be a good fit for your situation.

What to Expect

This work is collaborative and reflective rather than directive. Your specific concerns form the starting point, and our focus remains on understanding patterns that have been difficult to change through effort alone.

I offer education about neurodiversity alongside practical guidance for improving communication and reducing unnecessary conflict. I may point out obstacles you are encountering, as well as options that have not been visible to you. I will also ask questions designed to help you clarify your own priorities and choices.

Early in our work, you will complete brief forms that help identify your goals and the areas where you feel stuck. We return to these over time, adjusting as understanding deepens or circumstances change.

Some people find it helpful to engage with one or more of the educational courses available on this site before beginning couple work. These courses are optional and are intended to provide shared language and orientation, not to replace individualized work.

Our initial work focuses on:

• clarifying how each partner experiences the relationship

• identifying recurring patterns of misunderstanding

• establishing a shared language for difference

• distinguishing what can change from what cannot

From there, we focus on practical ways of communicating and relating that reduce unnecessary conflict and exhaustion.

The goal is not dependence. As understanding improves and patterns shift, my role naturally becomes less necessary.

Licensure, Location, and Insurance

If you reside in the state of Washington, where I am licensed as a Mental Health Counselor, or if you live outside of the United States and are seeking mental health counseling rather than coaching, please contact me by email.

If you plan to seek reimbursement from an insurance carrier in the United States, or in some other countries, insurers require that a mental health diagnosis be established. For this reason, I do not work directly with insurance companies.

If you have questions about whether therapy or coaching is the appropriate framework for your situation, do not hesitate to ask.

Online Work

All sessions are conducted online.

Many clients find that working online allows for greater flexibility, privacy, and focus. It also makes it possible for couples in different locations, or with complex schedules, to work together without added strain.

I work with clients around the world.

Who This Work Is For

This work tends to be most helpful for people who:

• are willing to reflect rather than blame

• want clarity more than reassurance

• are able to tolerate some ambiguity

• are open to understanding difference without assigning fault

It may not be a good fit if you are looking for quick answers, prescriptive advice, or certainty about outcomes.